CATEGORIES
Quotes
Proverbs
Holidays
Blessings
Factoids
Toasts
Wit and Humor
Anecdotes
| humor:
|
|---|
| The Republicans aren't the only ones who want four more years.
Notes: Before undergoing bypass surgery, descendant of Irish emigrants and former President Bill Clinton was quoted as saying from his hospital bed: |
| Spike Milligan
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? |
| Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?' Contestant: 'Hamlet'.
|
| George Bernard Shaw
Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. |
| Oscar Wilde
"He was always late on principle; his principle being that punctuality is the thief of time." |
| Oscar Wilde
I never put off till tomorrow what I can do the day after. |
| Oscar Wilde
Alas, I am dying beyond my means. |
| 1.While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. 2. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. 3. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
Notes: list of actual notes from medical records, as dictated by physicians: |
| George Bernard Shaw
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. |
| Jock Brown
We can't win at home, we can't win away. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play. Notes: Celtic General Manager |
| PREV | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 | NEXT |