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humor:
President Reagan
But there are advantages to being elected President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret.

Oscar Wilde
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.'

Oscar Wilde
As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.

Flann O'Brien
Rome wasn't built in A.D.

Conan O'Brien
"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh."

P. J. O'Rourke
Never serve oysters in a month that has no paycheck in it.

Unknown Author
A limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

Relics: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
Notes: From the Catholic Dictionary:

Jonathan Swift
"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal."

Brendan Behan
I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.

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