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humor:
Brendan Behan
It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.

William Maginn
You've heard of St. Denis of France,
He never had much for to brag on.
You've heard of St. George and his lance,
Who killed old heathenish dragon.
The Saints of the Welshmen and Scot
Are a couple of pitiful pipers,
And might just as well go to pot
When compared to the patron of vipers:
St. Patrick of Ireland, my dear.

Oscar Wilde
The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding.
Notes: Lord Arthur Savile's Crime, 1891

Unknown Author
Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long.
Notes: Elderly Irishman on RTé─Â talking about Courting in the 1940's.

Unknown Author
How do you confuse a Kerryman? Place three shovels against a wall and ask him to take his pick.

Jack Charlton
I'm always suspicious of games where you're the only ones that play it.
Notes: on hurling

Oscar Wilde
Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.

George Bernard Shaw
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

Unknown Author
Have you heard about the Irish boomerang? It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to.

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